A Common Phrase

"The thing I don't like is that some feminists put down men, and that's not equality"

It's a pretty common phrase and at face value seems to be perfectly reasonable. However the social causes and effects that lead to this statement are quite problematic and I would like to take them down. 

Firstly let’s consider why it's such a common phrase. So many people feel it necessary to differentiate between "equality" and "feminism" because feminism is tainted with the image of discrimination against men, and angry women screeching. But this is not even close to an accurate representation of feminists and feminism. Today, feminism looks like breaking taboo topics, anti workplace discrimination laws, freedom to wear clothes of our choice, better education for women, affirmative action in previously male dominated careers, women's sexual emancipation through the pill and female directed porn etc. etc. What it definitely does not look like is actual discrimination against men, or a "matriarchist" agenda. If there are any women with these aims, and naturally there is a small handful in this extremely diverse world, they rarely identify with feminism because most feminism and feminists do not support their views. 

So then we must ask ourselves, why does such an insignificant group of people incorrectly represent a global movement? The short answer is because that's how popular media both historically and currently portrays feminism. Even in its most generic form, the media is dominated worldwide by men in terms of content creators, representatives and consumers. And men are much more inclined to present feminism in a negative light because at its core, gender equality threatens men's privilege, which is an understandably difficult thing to accept. Although this may sound villainising to those men, the truth is most men are not intentionally sexist. Very few people who actively contribute to sexism or any other form of oppression are inherently evil. Rather, they are a product of a toxic society that mis-educates its people into a system of privilege and oppression, ignorance and misrepresentation. 

Small example of male dominated media in the UK

Ok, so the male dominated media grossly misrepresents feminists, and there are actually statistically insignificant amounts of "misandrists" or "matriarchists", but why is saying the aforementioned statement so bad?

Firstly it spreads this incorrect portrayal of feminism, further perpetuating the negative stereotype of feminists. This means that instead of advocating for women's rights and better education, women waste a lot of valuable time and energy defending the basic principles of the movement. 

And secondly it’s extremely disempowering as a feminist to hear that statement. Having someone say to your face that the movement you represent is "sexist" or discriminatory is extremely disheartening. It invalidates your work not only in the eyes of people who have never been educated otherwise, but potentially in your own mind too. It's not necessary to use an incorrect stereotype as an excuse not to give full support to a movement which empowers so many women, and aims to completely defeat all forms of oppression. 

It is worth noting that one of the potential reasons men see feminism as "discriminatory" is because it threatens their privilege. It’s sometimes difficult to differentiate between having your privilege (which was unfairly and arbitrarily assigned at birth, and disadvantages other people) reduced, and having your rights taken away. But I can promise that women's empowerment and emancipation does not take away the rights of anyone, but it definitely does tackle unfair privileges, especially of men. Yes, it's uncomfortable. No, it's not a bad thing. Yes, it’s difficult to swallow, and yes, you need to put in the effort to come to terms with it. 

A conversation about feminism should not include a regurgitated account of "some feminists", because it’s blatantly untrue and ends up leading what could be a healthy, empowering discussion down a tired and roundabout path.

Comment below :)
Hannah