How Much Weight Should Biology Hold in a Conversation About Gender?

We are taught that there is a pretty clear distinction between "girl" and "boy"; either a person has a vagina and can give birth, or they have a penis and produce more testosterone. Like many things taught at a young age, the reality is far more nuanced and complicated, and can't really be summed up in such a simple statement.

Human beings are incredibly complex, and the intricacy of our biological bodies create room for enormous diversity in their structure and function. So when we acknowledge that "sex" is a combination of sexual organs, reproductive systems, chromosomes and hormones, we can understand how there is in fact a large spectrum of sexes; so many different physical and chemical combinations of "sex" can and do exist. It is extremely common for people with vulvas, female reproductive systems and breasts to have “male” levels of testosterone. Nor is it particularly “strange” for someone to be born with neither the XX nor XY chromosome patterns. Many babies each year are born with both, neither, or a mix of both the “male” and “female” genitalia. Basically, intersex people are very common, and despite the social stigmas, they are alive, healthy and fully functioning. Check out more statistics at www.isna.org/faq/frequency.

When we accept that the biological science of sex isn't particularly straightforward, we start to struggle more with this idea of gender. "Gender" is apparently inherent traits of a particular sex, but if so many people exist outside a black and white male/female sexual reality, and so many people identify as transgender or non binary, how can this hold true? It is difficult to justify how oestrogen makes women more apt to an arts degree rather than STEM subjects, or how a Y chromosome makes boys prefer blue to pink in the face of the very real diversity that exists with every unique person. The conclusion that many feminists have come to is that "gender" is a socially constructed concept, and is far less natural than we like to think it is.

When we start looking at typical feminist issues such as women's role in the workforce, it is easy to see how the "female gender" actually disadvantages people who identify as women. Although women may be excellent politicians, the idea that the all females have a strong and inherent maternal instinct has held us back from positions of power throughout history, as it has been believed that we will not be able to make the difficult decisions. Although women may be fantastic scientists, the idea that we are more inclined to creativity rather than logic has, and continues to, block STEM opportunities for women. What we continually see is that women are discredited from entire fields of work because of assumptions based on the "biological essence of the female gender", despite the huge diversity that exists in 50% of the world's population, and despite varying levels of oestrogen having a fairly minimal impact on rational decisions made by a trained and educated employee. This issue detrimentally affects men, as well. Men who wish to take on more traditionally "feminine" roles such as early education and child care are discouraged from doing so, as "women's" work is beneath the entitled capacity of men. Again, this is in spite of men's very real ability to be excellent fathers, child carers and preschool teachers even though they may contain higher levels of testosterone, and not have a functional womb.

However, as much as a the feminist dream is a world without gender where people can express themselves and make choices purely based on what they like rather than pre-ordained roles, this world can likely never be achieved due to the entrenched ideas of gender that are built into the metaphorical fabric of society. Moreover, most radical feminists are willing to accept that biology isn't 100% irrelevant, the difference between my body and my brother's body does contribute to some of our differences. Testosterone does make muscle easier to build, and oestrogen does more easily trigger protective and possessive emotions.

The issue then lies with society's priorities of biological capacity.

We have come to believe in so many ways that men are "better" than women purely because of biology. We have come to believe that the "maternal instinct" is an undesirable trait, that means women are bad at corporate jobs, and will always be annoying, over-attached girlfriends. We have come to believe that dunking the ball in basketball is a sign of superior athletic ability, and so men are better than women at basketball due to their natural testosterone and height.

This is arbitrary.

If you grew up in a world where the most valued thing was the ability to relate to young children, and running a business was not a desirable job choice, you would likely view the female gender as "better" than the male, and pride the role of mother above the role of corporate leader. If you grew up in a world where the whole point of basketball was defence, and keeping it on the court, then you wouldn't value men's ability to jump and dunk the ball.

When we properly step through the links between sex, gender, and personality traits, we see that if often doesn't line up into the neat gender binary we perceive there to be, and we must accept that "male" and "female" are not natural states of being for so many people. However that doesn't mean biology has zero impact. Maybe men are stronger and faster because of a chemical composition that some people with penises also possess. But this does not make them inherently "better"; men are only "better" than women because of the relative values created by society, which arbitrarily favour men due to several thousand years of patriarchal society. Maybe people with certain combinations of organs and hormones are different from another group, but we must accept that the idea of valuing certain trains associated with these differences over others not nature, but generations of accepted expectations and norms that have become ingrained in our society.

Comment below!

Love, Hannah

Male Entitlement to Sex: "Nice Guys" Edition

A moment of silence for our brother in the friend zone, because girls only like Bad Boys and Nice Guys get ignored.

I think I successfully summed up modern attitudes of male entitlement to sex in one sentence. Let’s just get straight into it:

What is male entitlement to sex?

We live in a world where men control sex, and as can be seen by the horrifying statistics on rape, women are largely powerless against male desire. Contrary to popular belief, men’s “all powerful” sexual libido has little to do with biology and a lot to do with influential social attitudes. Since civilisations began all those thousands of years ago, men have been granted sexual freedom by society – or at least “freedom” relative to women’s lack thereof. Masculinity endorses hypersexuality, whereas femininity condemns it. Phallic references denote strength and power, while vaginas indicate weakness at best, and are a social taboo at worst. Basically through every time period and every area of a sexual society, men are encouraged to have sex while women are not only discouraged, but shamed, vilified, and occasionally burnt at the stake for being sexual beings at all. And because of this social mentality, throughout history men have been entitled to sex. Entitled to prostitutes, wives, skimpily dressed girls, or to rape the women of the conquered town.

So what does this look like in today’s society?

Male entitlement comes in all shapes and sizes, some of which have already been discussed on this blog (like here), but today let’s chat about Nice Guys. Because Nice Guys aren’t nice.

A quick search on Urban Dictionary gives a comprehensive definition of a Nice Guy:

“A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to… The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his relationships with females are all one-sided…”

It doesn’t sound particularly problematic until you dig a little deeper. Nice Guys are only talked about in a context of relationships with girls. You’re not a nice guy because you cooked dinner for your mum, or because you’re a good mate or donate to charity. You’re only a Nice Guy when you give girls friendship. This of course wouldn’t be too much of an issue if it weren’t for the fact that this friendship has strings attached. Nice Guys feel cheated of their dues - “friendzoned” - when their girl friends don’t want to have sex with them. Being comforting, caring, empathetic, and all other basic qualities of a half decent friend means a guy deserves sex after all that effort. (That was sarcastic). Sometimes people need a reminder than women’s sole purpose is not to dish out sex in gratitude for male friendship.

Furthermore, when men bring up the “friendzone” or bemoan their “Nice Guy” status, it is usually done in a way that degrades women. These topics are usually brought up while complaining about women, or criticising women from not giving enough sex to men who “deserve” it. This is so harmful because it encourages the idea that men should have sex regardless of how women feel, or what they want.

Love Actually’s character Colin “God of sex” is a prime example of male entitlement to sex in this way. He blames British women for his lack of sexual success, and regards British women as stupid and cold for not giving him what he deserves, rather than reflecting on himself and his poor attitude. He is also depicted only ever giving (pretty confronting, sleazy) attention to attractive women, and then laments how women never like Nice Guys like him. It is an understandable human character trait to be frustrated at not having a relationship, or sex, or any romantic attention, but the problem lies when it exists as part of a system that limits and controls female sexuality.

Friendship, relationships and sex come more easily to some people than others. But to create an empirical link between frustrated men and women’s inherent ignorance of who to have sex with is just plain wrong. Women live in fear of rape, because through history and pop culture, men have been told they are entitled to a woman’s body.

Comment below!

Hannah

Virginity Doesn't Exist

From the awkward moment sometime around eight years old when we learn what the elusive “s-word” actually entails, we enter a realm of obsession surrounding virginity. People lie about it, feel ashamed about it, are harassed and assaulted about it, joke about it… But here’s the thing:

Virginity literally does not exist.

…at least not in the way we’re made to think it does.

Let’s talk about hymens. Virginity is supposedly definitively lost upon first sexual intercourse, with alterations to the hymen being the physical determinant if a woman has had sex. This is false for so. many. reasons. Firstly, this theory is anatomically incorrect. There is often an idea of something “breaking” or “popping” when a girl first has intercourse, but that just kind of doesn’t make sense. The hymen is a thin film of tissue that partially covers the vagina, and instead of being “broken” by a penis or other forms of penetration, it is slightly stretched to the side. It’s logical really – if there is something fully covering the vagina that must be “popped” during intercourse, how does menstrual blood come out…? And hence, notions of pain and blood during first sexual experience are also misconstrued. Pain and blood is caused far more often by tense muscles, lack of lubrication or rough intercourse rather than the hymen tearing, and is not at all indicative of the female state of “virginity”. In fact, in ye olde times, women would scratch their thighs on their wedding night to draw blood and “prove” their virginity. Also, the hymen can be stretched or worn away by activities other than sex. Sport, masturbation, and genetics can all cause the hymen to be stretched or slightly torn before intercourse.

"H" is the hymen; it usually does not cover the vagina

Secondly this model of virginity is extremely cis and hetero-normative. Since it implies that the physical act of losing virginity must be performed by a penis during vaginal intercourse, it leaves little to no room for people who are gay, trans or fall outside of the binary. Does this mean a trans woman is magically a virgin again post-transition? Does this mean lesbian sex will never result in a loss of virginity? The assumption of a physically defined state of virginity almost completely erases non cis-hetero experiences. It can also impose harmful expectations of rape victims, many of whom have not had sex despite being penetrated; they have been a victim of violence. There is a huge difference between sex and rape, which the concept of virginity often does not take into account.

And throughout this article, we have seen a trend – “virginity” in both a physical and cultural sense usually impacts women more than men.

Sure, men are subject to humiliation if their perceived state of virginity is not masculine enough, and gay and trans men are also erased upon issues of virginity. But in more cases than not, it is women who are victimised, shamed and attacked for the status of their sexual activity. The ideas of pain, breaking and “damaging” sexual purity refer almost solely to vaginas, hence predominantly effect women (although not all women have vaginas and vice versa). Once again, we delve into the world of suppressing female sexuality. By encouraging a specific standard of unpleasant consequences upon women – never men – we estrange girls from taking ownership of their sexuality. The idea that a woman’s virginity is something “lost” through pain and force to their own demise is like a leitmotif of humanity. Not only does that statement prove that year 9 English class wasn’t a waste of time, it explains one of the premises for the socialisation that all girls receive, telling them their sexuality must be protected and feared, only to be inevitably taken from them.

So here’s a concluding proposition:

1.      Fix the sex education curriculum in schools to more accurately and comprehensively explain the hymen.

2.      Don’t portray girls who have “lost their virginity” in a slut-shaming, negative light especially when the same treatment is not inflicted upon men.

3.      Change the way we discuss virginity. Virginity can definitely still be used as a concept to refer to a person gaining sexual knowledge and experience, but we have to ensure it is kept separate from any physical attributes.

4.      Celebrate in a land of rainbows and sunshine at our sexually emancipated society.

Xx Hannah

Leave your thoughts and comments below!

Why Are Vaginas Scary?

Forget the Big Bad Wolf, who’s afraid of vaginas? Society definitely is. And this underlying fear translates into shame and guilt. It affects so many areas of women’s lives, as vaginas are considered taboo and inherently sexualised to the point where a person who has one can’t even feel comfortable in their own body*. Breaking it down:

How are vaginas treated negatively?

Well firstly, there’s a huge amount of misinformation and ignorance about basic female anatomy. Contrary to popular belief, when we say “vagina” we usually actually mean the vulva, which is basically the part you can see including the labia major and minor. The vagina is the internal organ like a tube which leads from the opening up to the cervix – the entrance to the uterus. It may seem like anatomy-student-nit-picking, but the fact that so few people can get the basic details right about vaginas is pretty significant when considering how we treat their place in society. It becomes easier for people to alienate vaginas and spread harmful rumours about how to clean or pleasure one purely out of ignorance. The huge sense of the “unknown” about vaginas similarly creates a plethora of taboos, as this same ignorance leads to non acceptance of conversation or education about female sexual organs.

The most potent one in our society is the taboo on female masturbation. Daily banter can enjoy the freedom and approval we have placed on male masturbation, with endless jokes and crude gestures considered perfectly normal. Sure, it’s not exactly a family dinner topic of conversation, but it’s not “weird” or “abnormal”. Let’s flip over to the female equivalent. Society simply does not encourage or accept any talk of female masturbation, and in fact has not even advanced to let it become a joke. It is literally 100% not talked about in a normal context. The majority of women will not admit they masturbate, even though well over 90% of women in Western society do. If you type “female masturbation” into Google, the top hits are all sites/articles aimed at letting women know that masturbation is healthy and normal, because the status quo dissuades and shames women who masturbate, and there’s such little education on the reality of its importance to basic health. Though to a lesser extent, menstruation is also silenced in society. Although women can feel relatively comfortable buying feminine hygiene products or requesting time-off due to period related pain or discomfort, there is still a strong element of taboo. Men generally cannot handle conversation about periods; they become extremely uncomfortable and usually attempt to change the topic. This is through no fault of their own but rather a secretive attitude towards education on menstruation, where girls are taught the bare minimum and boys learn almost nothing at all. And of course we can’t go without mentioning the tax on tampons… need I say more?

Alright, massive information dump over, let’s analyse this. Why is it that anything to do with vaginas, be it anatomy 101, normal bodily functions or sexual habits, is treated with such disgust and secrecy?

In a world where women’s sexuality is controlled and suppressed by the patriarchal norm (click here for a deeper analysis of this premise), women cannot have ownership over their sexual organs. Vaginas are not able to be considered just another body part, because they are intrinsically linked with female pleasure; an entity which has historically not been allowed power or privilege in society. (Fun fact: in medieval times, husbands would literally lock their wives' vaginas in metal chastity belts when they went away to ensure fidelity. The women usually died of infection. Male ownership of female sexuality has been around for quite a long time…) This results in vaginas existing in a strict dichotomy: they are either inherently sexual, or disgusting and repulsive.

Young girls are not encouraged to explore their bodies, and are told not to look at or touch their vaginas because they are “private parts”, which apparently are also off limits to the owner. Having been taught for so many years that their vaginas should be ignored, and that interaction with your body is “gross”, it is no wonder young girls feel ashamed when they first get their periods. Menstruation forces women to acknowledge their vaginas and interact with them, despite being conditioned to believe that this is something extremely sexual. Moreover, that sexual element is only ever portrayed in a negative light, as women are not taught how to claim ownership over their sexuality. So of course women do not feel like they have a right to masturbation, as female power over their own pleasure is not a concept emphasised by society, which prefers to characterise a penis as the only way a woman can experience pleasure. This creates an apparent dependence on men for sex, reinforcing the “weakness” of women, and power of men.

Yeah, it’s pretty convoluted.

It’s important to understand the double standard society holds when it comes to sexual organs. Penises are respected in society as integral to pleasure and empowerment, while vaginas exist in a separate universe of misinformation and suppression. Subduing female sexuality has pretty bad health consequences, but also reinforces subsequent ideas about power and autonomy. In fact the whole concept that women are the “weaker sex” stems from a patriarchal understanding of female sexuality.

I suppose the real message is that vaginas are not innately sexual. They are a functioning organ in the female reproductive system that serves multiple functions, none of which are “gross” or “disgusting”. The vagina should be able to exist in a context of normality; able to represent female empowerment and pleasure, blood and pain, and everything that exists in the middle.

Comment below :)

Hannah

*Not everyone with a vagina is a woman/female, and not everyone who is a woman/female has a vagina