The Lesbian Beauty

From neck down, I am the ultimate “filthy feminist” - untouched body hair, no bra, and occasionally I bust out the wide legged three-quarter pants which apparently strike fear into the hearts of snowflake meninists. But curiously, the Tumblr worthy image suddenly stops at roughly my chin. From there up, I am the capitalist patriarchy’s dream girl. My face is covered in hundreds of dollars of skincare and makeup, hair products for my curls which I can’t bear the thought of shaving off, and semi-permanent eyelash and eyebrow tint. I’m well aware that half the lotions and potions I smear on my face twice a day every day don’t actually work and that I was just drawn in by the pretty white packaging and the promise of buyable beauty. I’m well aware that make up is gendered, inherently oppressive, and even my glittery, bright pink smokey eyes aren't “artistic” enough to escape the conventional beauty standard conformity they embody. I could go on about how much I enjoy blending eyeshadows, the coolness of fresh foundation when it touches your face, but I’m well aware that if I didn't feel societal pressure to wear makeup I probably… wouldn’t.

I know this because when I’m heading out to somewhere I know I will see attractive people - or might see attractive people - I will wear more makeup than if not. Because I’ll do my hair up nicer if I’m in the company of people whom I care what they think of my looks. Because I’ll make sure my eyelashes and eyebrows are freshly tinted if I won’t be able to wear makeup - at the beach, or an overnight gig of some description. And it’s oppressive; the money, the hours of sleep I miss because I’m applying concealer in the morning or removing mascara at night, the stress of planning ahead for beauty routines on the go. They’re small, but they add up into a daily life where your confidence and your desirability are contingent on the money you spend on little bits of silicone and coloured pigment wrapped in plastic.

Essentially, my build-a-girl self project has so far failed in seceding the male gaze. “The male gaze” simply denotes that attractiveness, specifically of cis women, is defined by what men enjoy. Beauty is not objective, and in this society beauty is constructed by and for straight men. By not-so-radical extension, the beauty and fashion industries are geared towards making women desirable to a male standard. Every Dove advertisement, every strappy red piece of lace with bows on it in Bras N’ Things tells me I’m not particularly beautiful, but I could be if I spend money on the right things. “Beauty” is toxic, and I’m swimming in it.

The indicator of success in escaping the male gaze would be when I stop feeling proud of my conventional beauty. When I stop being smug that I have the “right” kind of butt, the “correct” fashion sense (one that shows off said butt), and “flattering” makeup. When I stop mentally linking men who want to kiss me with men who think I’m “beautiful”, because I will understand that I cannot trust men’s standard of what “beautiful” is.

I met a girl who was not “beautiful”. Her hair was a mixture of short and oddly shaved, she wore low-rise jeans and a terrible button up shirt, her eyebrows were pale. And in the saga of being maybe sort of kinda a little bit queer sometimes, I thought she was gorgeous. Where the expectation for blonde eyelashes is to coat them in mascara because it frames the eyes better, where the norm is long hair falling suggestively over a girl’s shoulders, I thought her face-bareness and hair-shortness was one of the best things I’d ever seen.

There is a long history of lesbian fashion as a political statement and an identifier. Queer writer Judith Butler recounts walking down the street in a poorly fitting brown suit, and being yelled at “you look like a lesbian!” to which she answered “Well, I am”. Lesbians have been called “ugly” for forever and a day because “ugly” is the antithesis of “beautiful”. And “beautiful” means desirable to straight men.

Lesbian beauty is perhaps the most radical defiance of the patriarchy because it does not conform to the male gaze. Women who are beautiful to other women will not buy beauty products or wear mainstream clothes created for male tastes because they have no interest in being attractive for men. Conventional beauty is useless when male validation has no place in your life.

There is a danger in conforming to the male gaze - looking desirable for men invites unwanted touch, or the feared stare of boys who think they own a pretty body. Being “beautiful” is scary and painful and tiring and dehumanising. But women will not hurt you or force you to change your body to something more porn-worthy; I feel an incredible sense of safety in the presence of lesbian beauty. The expectation of spending my time, my money, of submitting myself to the pain of plucking, ripping and scrubbing disappears, and I am allowed to be a full human.

I will probably continue to wear makeup, to tear hairs from my eyebrows and be enticed by “thigh firming” workouts offered at the pilates studio. But this is because I will probably continue to be attracted to men, and swallow the bullshit beauty standards they enforce.

Hannah

What About the Lesbians? Femininity is Always Mysteriously Erased

Legend has it that Queen Victoria decided that lesbianism be decriminalised in Britain, because she didn't believe lesbians existed: "Women would do no such thing!" Historians agree this tale is most likely false, but the fact that this myth is so plausible and widely accepted is very telling about our attitudes to lesbians, and femininity in general.

Throughout history, gay men have always been given the spotlight compared to other LGBTIQA+ identities. From the ancient Spartans Greek endorsement of homosexuality in the army to Dumbledore's low-key gay identity, it is pretty easy to understand "sodomy", while a lingering taboo surrounding female sexuality prevents society from fully understanding lesbianism. There is a never-ending social conditioning that teaches us female pleasure is secondary to men's; that a penis is the most powerful, integral part of any sexual encounter. This message implicitly characterises women as weak, sexually incompetent objects which can be used to ejaculate a penis. The idea that women do not need penises to be sexually fulfilled is extremely threatening to the masculine position of power, which is very much tied with sexual dominance. Because the patriarchy is in many ways quite effectively undermined by the mere concept of lesbianism, it has responded by erasing lesbian women from the social mainstream.

However this manifests in ways that, on the surface level, seem good for women.

Lesbianism was decriminalised in Victorian era England, gay women are not profiled and abused by police in the way gay men are, and a lesbian couple are less likely to receive slurs and public hostility than a male couple. But the reasons behind this are deeply rooted in sexism, and ultimately oppress lesbian women.

Aside from the patriarchy's struggle with the idea of women owning their sexuality, our society only values masculinity, while portraying femininity as weak and undesirable. When we start to accept the gay rights movement and join LGBTIQA+ activism, we see an emphasis placed on cisgender gay males. This emphasis almost completely erases lesbian women. When we think about anti-bullying campaigns for LGBT youth, they almost always focus on boys being called "gay" or "fag". The sex education curriculum briefly touches on anal intercourse and HIV awareness for gay men if you're lucky enough to go to a very progressive school, but never comes close to mentioning any forms of safe sex for lesbian relationships.

Basically, we see that society will not give airtime to lesbians. We don't want to accept that women can live fulfilling sexual lives without penises, and we don't want to allow femininity to take the spotlight. Moreover, we don't want to admit that the pink, frilly, fragile femininity we know so well could possible take part in something as independent or sexually empowered as lesbian sex. So when women appear to have more freedom experimenting with their sexuality than men, it stems from the fact that society doesn't take lesbianism seriously. When gay women manage to avoid violence and abuse from the police, it comes from a place of viewing women as weak and ineffective, which then enforces the sexist standard that oppresses all women/femme folk.

When we can't even give decent airtime and representation to cis, white, gay women, it is difficult to see a future where other gender and sexual minorities have a shot at achieving equality.

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xx Hannah