What About the Lesbians? Femininity is Always Mysteriously Erased

Legend has it that Queen Victoria decided that lesbianism be decriminalised in Britain, because she didn't believe lesbians existed: "Women would do no such thing!" Historians agree this tale is most likely false, but the fact that this myth is so plausible and widely accepted is very telling about our attitudes to lesbians, and femininity in general.

Throughout history, gay men have always been given the spotlight compared to other LGBTIQA+ identities. From the ancient Spartans Greek endorsement of homosexuality in the army to Dumbledore's low-key gay identity, it is pretty easy to understand "sodomy", while a lingering taboo surrounding female sexuality prevents society from fully understanding lesbianism. There is a never-ending social conditioning that teaches us female pleasure is secondary to men's; that a penis is the most powerful, integral part of any sexual encounter. This message implicitly characterises women as weak, sexually incompetent objects which can be used to ejaculate a penis. The idea that women do not need penises to be sexually fulfilled is extremely threatening to the masculine position of power, which is very much tied with sexual dominance. Because the patriarchy is in many ways quite effectively undermined by the mere concept of lesbianism, it has responded by erasing lesbian women from the social mainstream.

However this manifests in ways that, on the surface level, seem good for women.

Lesbianism was decriminalised in Victorian era England, gay women are not profiled and abused by police in the way gay men are, and a lesbian couple are less likely to receive slurs and public hostility than a male couple. But the reasons behind this are deeply rooted in sexism, and ultimately oppress lesbian women.

Aside from the patriarchy's struggle with the idea of women owning their sexuality, our society only values masculinity, while portraying femininity as weak and undesirable. When we start to accept the gay rights movement and join LGBTIQA+ activism, we see an emphasis placed on cisgender gay males. This emphasis almost completely erases lesbian women. When we think about anti-bullying campaigns for LGBT youth, they almost always focus on boys being called "gay" or "fag". The sex education curriculum briefly touches on anal intercourse and HIV awareness for gay men if you're lucky enough to go to a very progressive school, but never comes close to mentioning any forms of safe sex for lesbian relationships.

Basically, we see that society will not give airtime to lesbians. We don't want to accept that women can live fulfilling sexual lives without penises, and we don't want to allow femininity to take the spotlight. Moreover, we don't want to admit that the pink, frilly, fragile femininity we know so well could possible take part in something as independent or sexually empowered as lesbian sex. So when women appear to have more freedom experimenting with their sexuality than men, it stems from the fact that society doesn't take lesbianism seriously. When gay women manage to avoid violence and abuse from the police, it comes from a place of viewing women as weak and ineffective, which then enforces the sexist standard that oppresses all women/femme folk.

When we can't even give decent airtime and representation to cis, white, gay women, it is difficult to see a future where other gender and sexual minorities have a shot at achieving equality.

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xx Hannah