International Women's Day: Male Allyship Version

This morning, I woke up while the sky was still dark to attended the NSW International Women's Day Breakfast, run by the Australian committee for UN Women. The focus for 2016 is domestic violence against girls and women, however amidst the speeches, important guests, donation slips and a giant room of two thousand people, the most interesting thing I took away from the Breakfast was an analysis of male allyship to feminism.

In a social justice context, "ally" refers to someone who aids an anti-oppression movement despite not being part of that minority. For example, a male who supports and assists feminism, a white person who aids anti-racist activism, or a cisgender person who backs trans rights and awareness movements. It is tricky to be a Good Ally, as being born part of a privileged majority group often causes unintentional bigotry and offence when interacting with oppressed groups; it takes a lot of effort to fully understand your role in helping people without accidentally overshadowing marginalised voices. This morning's IWD Breakfast contained two prime examples of male allyship; one depiction of how men should ideally relate to and be involved with feminism, and one portrayal of exactly what not to do.

Somewhat to my disappointment, the proceedings began with speeches by men. It was quite ironic: almost two thousand women, a female organisation committee, a female MC, all listening to NSW Premier Mike Baird talk about feminism. Of course, this would be perfectly valid and welcome if he had displayed sensitivity and understanding towards his role as a male ally in feminism, but unfortunately his speech caused more eye rolls than applause. He started by praising the women in the room, congratulating the "mothers, sisters, daughters and grandmothers" at the Breakfast. Twice during his speech, Baird first acknowledged women only in their familial, household roles, accepted over the centuries to be women's primary label. Although he continued to mention women in diverse career paths afterwards, the subtle message was already clear: female empowerment is great, but only if it remains within patriarchally accepted gender roles. The speech continued with an awkward anecdote of Baird's contribution to his personal household duties such as driving the kids to school, supposedly to exemplify the need for equal distribution of domestic labour to prevent women from being pigeonholed. However once again all we heard was that men who charitably take on "women's work" are the heroes of feminism. Overall, the speech could be forgiven in lieu of the NSW Government's proposition that by 2019, all government employment opportunities will have job flexibility, allowing both women and men to take the necessary time off to raise a family and run a household, without the current gender divide where women are discriminated against as they are assumed to take leave. Nonetheless, Baird's speech contained multiple microaggressions which enforced the idea that men are more precious to feminism than women, and women ultimately cannot break from their assigned gender roles. Although it was not the most damaging display of bad male allyship, at an event as influential as IWD, the standards must be held extremely high.

On the complete other end of the spectrum, panellist Mr Tura Lewai's words evoked emphatic nods, smiles, and spontaneous applause. A Fijian women's rights activist, Mr Lewai educates young boys with the goal of "addressing the root cause" and preventing domestic and sexual violence. What made Lewai stand out as a meaningful and constructive ally was his understanding of where he stood in feminism; what was and wasn't required of him. Lewai spoke of the need to assess male behaviour and the toxic standard of masculinity, which is undeniably the cause of violence against women - and men - as over 95% of domestic violence against any gender is committed by males. Ultimately his message was that being born a man means you must commit to a life of unlearning the violence and power of masculinity. The whole while I was sitting there thinking "now this is what I wanted to hear." Unlike Baird, Lewai understood that the most effective thing a male ally can do is to accept that men have power, and to ensure that they themselves do not accidentally exploit that power at the detriment of women. He emphasised that saying men can be "gender equality champions" by donating to a feminist cause is harmful and disempowering - it does not acknowledge the huge imbalance in society, where a small feminist input to by a man is valued over a woman's hard work, simply because men are already valued over women. Lewai made it clear from the get go that men's work in feminism should never overshadow the effort women put into their daily lives, often out of sheer necessity from living in a patriarchal world.

Feminism is for and by oppressed minorities. The help of privileged groups is necessary and deeply appreciated. But men need to be aware that they have an obligation to back women, to promote and support women without taking centre stage and making women have to sit down and be lectured on their own issues.

Happy International Women's Day!
Hannah