Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Everyday Makeup Routine of a Feminist

From left to right:

  • Loreal primer: to ensure the misogyny floating in the air doesn't clog my pores.
  • Revlon foundation: to submit to the male expectation of flawless pornstar skin.
  • Manicare beauty blender: to buff away sexism.
  • Bare Minerals concealer: to hide the spots caused by sugar intake. Me? Eat unhealthy? How unladylike!
  • Maybelline setting powder: to keep my face as dry as my sense of humor.
  • Elf brush: to comfortingly pat the male ego.
  • Body Shop bronzer: to enforce the standard that darker skin is only desirable on white people.
  • Real Techniques brush: to blend white supremacy into a seamless contour.
  • Maybelline brow gel: to cut men down with my perfectly sharp eyebrows.
  • Essence eyeliner: to deceive men. I obviously wish to make them believe I have naturally elongated eyes.
  • Maybelline mascara: to earn basic human respect.
  • Benefit highlighter: to dazzle those who refuse to highlight oppression.
  • Topshop blush: to look healthy and young, but simultaneously sexy and desirable. But also demure and passive. But also smart, but not too smart. Guys don't like that, remember?
  • Australis setting spray: to trick men who say "take them swimming on the first date". Because I wouldn't want him to think my self worth is based on more than my makeup!
Xoxo Hannah
P.S. I highly recommend all these products.

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