In almost every discussion about rape culture, a wild Meninist will inevitably seek to disprove it with a tokenistic mention of male rape victims; if men are victim of sexual abuse, it must mean all feminism is wrong, right? What this argument is missing is the understanding that male rape victims are very much a feminist issue, and the abuse and discrimination they suffer stems from the same social standard of hyper-masculinity and weak femininity that created a rape culture in the first place. The reality is a trend of emasculating men who have experienced sexual abuse, and instead of countering feminist claims of a rape culture, it further proves and adds weight to the importance of dismantling this toxic attitude towards sex altogether.
Boys are taught to be sexually dominant; to demand and expect sex from any body at any time. The socialisation starts pretty much immediately, with boys' baby onesies saying "lock up your daughters" or "future ladies' man". Our perception of masculinity is intrinsically tied to an uncontrollable sexual libido and the glorification of male sexual exploits, explored in more depth here and here. And when society subconsciously equates this to an understanding of the ultimate "man", it estranges male rape victims. Men are expected to want and to enjoy sex 150% of the time, and the notion that a man was forced into a submissive, powerless position challenges the very core of what we have evolved to recognise as "manly". Society's response? Emasculate male rape victims.
Because on the flipside of hypersexual masculinity is a passive and sexually powerless characterisation of femininity. Femininity has never been a desirable trait in humans; those who associate with maternity, softness, and a love of sewing which is obviously linked to oestrogen levels are systematically disadvantaged and perceived as weak and incapable. There is a tendency for the patriarchy to declare any person who challenges its standards as "feminine": gay men are feminised since they do not fit the ideal model of a cis-het masculine man, evidenced in the feminine traits of "camp" fashion and speech inflections. By the same token, male rape victims are feminised because their experiences of abuse in an area where men are "meant" to dominate goes against the patriarchy's image of masculinity. The shame of being associated with femininity effectively silences male victims, and creates a problematic social attitude towards male survivors of disbelief and scorn at their lack of enthusiasm for sex.
Ultimately, the issues that face male rape victims such as lack of shelters and support networks, silenced voices and damning social response originate from the patriarchal standard of hyper masculinity and its acceptance of "animalistic" attitudes towards sex. This same socialisation is directly responsible for creating a culture where women's bodies are reduced to objects to please the men, and consent is secondary to male sexual entitlement. 93% of offenders are male (Australian Bureau of Statistics - Recorded Crime - Offenders, 2013-14), and this statistic makes sense when we realise that the issue creating a rape culture is centred around masculine notions of strength and power, which pushes men to act upon their expectations of sexual dominance.
Women are more likely to experience rape, but the existence of men who have also experienced sexual abuse only further sheds light on the social mentality that creates a culture which allows rape to exist as an epidemic.
Comment below,
Hannah
Showing posts with label rapeculture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rapeculture. Show all posts
Wednesday, 20 July 2016
Tuesday, 12 April 2016
Why Isn't Rape Reported?
If you were raped, would you report it? Would you see a prosecution through so that your abuser is sent to jail? For many of us, the initial response is "yes, of course."
Every statistical study of rape produces vastly differing numbers, with little asterisks everywhere reminding us that much of the information is based on estimates. What statistics have to take into account is the reality that a huge majority of rape cases are never reported, and never mentioned. Why is there so much silence, when reporting crime is fairly straightforward, and generally encouraged?
Let's consider a scenario (trigger warning: rape and sexual abuse trauma) -
A woman is raped by her partner in her home. Immediately after it happens, she knows she needs help, but right now she is traumatised and in shock. The next day she considers going to the police, but is so horrified by her experience that the thought of speaking about it aloud is unbearably triggering for her. After a few days, she finally feels confident enough to go to the police. They ask her gruelling questions about exactly what happened in graphic detail, was she drunk, had she promised him sex earlier that day, had he ever hurt her before. They keep asking her why she didn't come earlier, and mentioned their incredulity at the validity of her claim seeing as she only bothered to report it several days after. They tell her to go home and they'll contact her for further inquiries. Meanwhile, her partner finds out she reported him, and threatens to kill her if she doesn't drop the charges immediately. She can't leave him, as she is financially dependent on him, and he has emotionally manipulated her to believe she must stay in the relationship. She rings the police and tells them she lied, and she won't be pressing the case. The charges are dropped. The woman continues to be raped by her partner, and continues to be silent about it.
Scenario Two -
A girl is drunk at a party, and raped by her boyfriend's mate. Something similar happened to a girl at her school a few months ago, and she remembered how that girl was bullied and shamed for reporting her "rape" and potentially ruining the boy's life, when she was just a drunk slut who wanted to cover up that she had cheated on her boyfriend. The girl doesn't tell anyone she was raped.
Those two scenarios cover the most common circumstances where a woman might be raped, and we can see the plethora of reasons a rape charge may never come through. We need to understand that going to an often male police officer with details of a traumatic experience which you are still in shock from is simply impossible for so many people. Burying the rape and trying to forget the pain is often the easiest path, and the most beneficial to a victim's short term wellbeing, and expecting any different is unrealistic. There are so many legitimate reasons a person might not report a rape immediately, or choose not to pursue the case in court.
Often people will try to invalidate the existence of a rape culture by pointing out the constant inconsistencies in statistics. But what the unknown gap in reported rape cases tell us is that we live in a world where women do not feel comfortable or safe reporting their abuse. The fact that numbers on false rape claims fluctuate so much does not prove women's inherent victim complex, but indicate that it is impossible to know how many women are actually lying, and how many have been coerced and bullied to go back on their claim. The fact that both male and female victims of rape are so likely to be put in manipulative situations while they face the emotionally taxing process of reporting rape needs to be understood, both in statistical studies, or when we consider reforms to legislation which makes it easier to prosecute for rape.
Rape culture extends beyond the frequency of rape, and describes the environment where rape victims have to bear the onus of their abuser's actions in a society which blames them for their trauma, and doesn't listen to their claims.
Hannah
Every statistical study of rape produces vastly differing numbers, with little asterisks everywhere reminding us that much of the information is based on estimates. What statistics have to take into account is the reality that a huge majority of rape cases are never reported, and never mentioned. Why is there so much silence, when reporting crime is fairly straightforward, and generally encouraged?
Let's consider a scenario (trigger warning: rape and sexual abuse trauma) -
A woman is raped by her partner in her home. Immediately after it happens, she knows she needs help, but right now she is traumatised and in shock. The next day she considers going to the police, but is so horrified by her experience that the thought of speaking about it aloud is unbearably triggering for her. After a few days, she finally feels confident enough to go to the police. They ask her gruelling questions about exactly what happened in graphic detail, was she drunk, had she promised him sex earlier that day, had he ever hurt her before. They keep asking her why she didn't come earlier, and mentioned their incredulity at the validity of her claim seeing as she only bothered to report it several days after. They tell her to go home and they'll contact her for further inquiries. Meanwhile, her partner finds out she reported him, and threatens to kill her if she doesn't drop the charges immediately. She can't leave him, as she is financially dependent on him, and he has emotionally manipulated her to believe she must stay in the relationship. She rings the police and tells them she lied, and she won't be pressing the case. The charges are dropped. The woman continues to be raped by her partner, and continues to be silent about it.
Scenario Two -
A girl is drunk at a party, and raped by her boyfriend's mate. Something similar happened to a girl at her school a few months ago, and she remembered how that girl was bullied and shamed for reporting her "rape" and potentially ruining the boy's life, when she was just a drunk slut who wanted to cover up that she had cheated on her boyfriend. The girl doesn't tell anyone she was raped.
Those two scenarios cover the most common circumstances where a woman might be raped, and we can see the plethora of reasons a rape charge may never come through. We need to understand that going to an often male police officer with details of a traumatic experience which you are still in shock from is simply impossible for so many people. Burying the rape and trying to forget the pain is often the easiest path, and the most beneficial to a victim's short term wellbeing, and expecting any different is unrealistic. There are so many legitimate reasons a person might not report a rape immediately, or choose not to pursue the case in court.
Often people will try to invalidate the existence of a rape culture by pointing out the constant inconsistencies in statistics. But what the unknown gap in reported rape cases tell us is that we live in a world where women do not feel comfortable or safe reporting their abuse. The fact that numbers on false rape claims fluctuate so much does not prove women's inherent victim complex, but indicate that it is impossible to know how many women are actually lying, and how many have been coerced and bullied to go back on their claim. The fact that both male and female victims of rape are so likely to be put in manipulative situations while they face the emotionally taxing process of reporting rape needs to be understood, both in statistical studies, or when we consider reforms to legislation which makes it easier to prosecute for rape.
Rape culture extends beyond the frequency of rape, and describes the environment where rape victims have to bear the onus of their abuser's actions in a society which blames them for their trauma, and doesn't listen to their claims.
Hannah
Friday, 13 November 2015
The Standard for Boys
STAGE DIRECTIONS: Read the first paragraph with a strong sarcastic tone so as to avoid a comment war.
A "good guy" is a rare find in this society. After all, boys are inherently beasts who can't control themselves. The requirements for a "good guy" includes the following:
Resists the temptation to rape people
Accepts a girl's rejection after the fifth time
Doesn't attack people in a dark alley
These are unusual and exceptional qualities in the male personality, and must be commended when observed.
STAGE DIRECTIONS: All safe now, continue to read in a normal voice.
Rape culture is heavily normalised in our society, not only in the actions we are conditioned to accept as everyday occurrences such as street harassment, slut shaming and victim shaming, but in the way we perceive the standard of decent social behaviour. With 1 in 5 women, and 1 in 22 men victim of sexual violence in Australia, rape is so commonplace that we have come to accept sexual assault as normal, and respecting sexual consent as a strange, alien outlier. As with anything regarding rape culture, the problem is with how we treat the perpetrator, and since men are the predominant demographic of sexual violence perpetrators, the issue lies in how we condition boys to view rape.
Currently we have this image of the "good guy" and the "average boy". As mentioned above, the good guy is commended on his resistance to the temptation to rape, and his lack of violence tendencies. Conversely, the average guy does the opposite. When boys ignore consent, rape and abuse women, or attack people in a drunken fight, their cases are more often than not dismissed in the social conscience as "boys will be boys, we can't expect them to do anything else".
A "good guy" is a rare find in this society. After all, boys are inherently beasts who can't control themselves. The requirements for a "good guy" includes the following:
Resists the temptation to rape people
Accepts a girl's rejection after the fifth time
Doesn't attack people in a dark alley
These are unusual and exceptional qualities in the male personality, and must be commended when observed.
STAGE DIRECTIONS: All safe now, continue to read in a normal voice.
Rape culture is heavily normalised in our society, not only in the actions we are conditioned to accept as everyday occurrences such as street harassment, slut shaming and victim shaming, but in the way we perceive the standard of decent social behaviour. With 1 in 5 women, and 1 in 22 men victim of sexual violence in Australia, rape is so commonplace that we have come to accept sexual assault as normal, and respecting sexual consent as a strange, alien outlier. As with anything regarding rape culture, the problem is with how we treat the perpetrator, and since men are the predominant demographic of sexual violence perpetrators, the issue lies in how we condition boys to view rape.
Currently we have this image of the "good guy" and the "average boy". As mentioned above, the good guy is commended on his resistance to the temptation to rape, and his lack of violence tendencies. Conversely, the average guy does the opposite. When boys ignore consent, rape and abuse women, or attack people in a drunken fight, their cases are more often than not dismissed in the social conscience as "boys will be boys, we can't expect them to do anything else".
There is a longstanding social assumption that boys are not in control of their sexual libido, which I shall politely describe as unsophisticated bovine defecation. Since gender and sex do not influence each other (read this for an explanation), and testosterone has been proved as only slightly more potent than oestrogen or other sex hormones, it does not make sense that we view male sexual drive as so significantly beyond someone's conscious control. Rather, this myth stems from a long history of allowing men to dominate in sex, and the subsequent need for an excuse as people started to criticise this.
And because of this harmful assumption, we as a society hold men - particularly boys - to a very low standard. We do not treat sexual violence or even general disrespect of women with particularly harsh criticism, and so have built a culture where this treatment of women in particular is seen as perfectly normal. This is further exacerbated when a boy displays very average characteristics of a decent human being, we shower him with praise, which makes acting in a non-macho-violent way seem like something unusual, special, and unattainable for the normal boy.
Ideally, when a boy considers taking advantage of a drunk girl at a party, but eventually decides not to, we should not congratulate him on an amazing display of humanity and responsibility, we should be disgusted that he considering raping someone.
We don't live in this world, but perhaps it is a case of "fake it til you make it". If we hold boys to a solid standard of decent behaviour, we could start to normalise a culture which does not accept rape and sexual violence as the status quo.
Ideally, when a boy considers taking advantage of a drunk girl at a party, but eventually decides not to, we should not congratulate him on an amazing display of humanity and responsibility, we should be disgusted that he considering raping someone.
We don't live in this world, but perhaps it is a case of "fake it til you make it". If we hold boys to a solid standard of decent behaviour, we could start to normalise a culture which does not accept rape and sexual violence as the status quo.
Leave thoughts and comments :)
Hannah
Tuesday, 20 October 2015
Apparently No Means Yes
With campaigns like “No Means No” and “Yes Means Yes” out to
cure rape culture from its core, we must ask ourselves – where did such a
skewed perception of consent originate from anyway? As society finally begins
to recognise and react to the widespread phenomenon of men ignoring the
legitimacy of female consent (or lack thereof), it is worth understanding the
ways this mentality is perpetuated in society.
Most likely the biggest reason is that women’s bodies have
consistently been characterised as men’s property under the male gaze, and I’ve
already deconstructed parts of these issues here here and here, and will
continue to do so. But what is also worth airtime is the way consent in sex and
relationships is portrayed in pop-media, and how this perpetuates rape culture.
Read on to find out why The Notebook
is problematic!
Basically, we romanticise boys “getting the girl” through
persistence and perseverance, never stopping in his quest to make the girl of
his dreams realise that in fact, he is what she has been missing from her life
all along...
- Ryan Gosling as Noah in the romance-story-to-end-all-romance-stories The Notebook repeatedly asks dream-girl Allie out, despite her definitive “no”. He then threatens to kill himself unless she goes out with him.
- Heath Ledger *swoon* as Pat in 10 Things I Hate About You dogs Kat until she finally falls for him… and they kiss in a paintball fight… and it’s so cute…
- Logan Lerman in the 2011 adaptation of The Three Musketeers asks blonde-beauty to go out with him again and again until she agrees.
As a society we
have endorsed, romanticised and encouraged the idea that if a guy wants a girl,
he should have her. Moreover, women are constantly portrayed in blockbuster
romance movies (and comedies, action movies, coming of age movies…) as if they don’t
know what’s best for them; it’s only when a man forces himself into their
affection that they realise he is their Prince Charming.
We tell
boys that the way to go about “getting the girl” is to ignore her rejections
and try again and again, because she doesn’t know what she wants.
The movies above are very explicit examples of this
mentality, but it is still implied in the vast majority of storylines which
include (cis-hetero normative) relationships. Pride and Prejudice characterises Elizabeth Bennet as ignorant of
her true feelings, and romanticises Mr Darcy’s attempts to woo her (albeit
subtly) despite her rebuffs. Looking For
Alaska similarly creates a hero out of Miles for persevering with his efforts
to get with Alaska.
Not a single pop-culture storyline comes to mind when I ask
myself if there is a book or movie which legitimises a woman’s feelings of
unattraction towards a man who is pursuing her.
This screams rape culture, loud and clear. When we encourage boys to keep chipping away at a girl’s
defence against his advances because that is the cute, romantic way to gain a
relationship, we validate people who ignore “no” as an answer to sex, kissing,
or even hitting up on Facebook. None of the hyper-sexualised, attractive, idolised
male characters accept no for an answer, and they live happily ever after. So why
are we so confused when boys feel like she doesn’t really mean it when she says
“no”?
Friday, 28 August 2015
"McGangbang"
When a group as popular and influential as Buzzfeed use "gangbang" in the context of a joke, it's no wonder rape culture is trivialised and normalised in our everyday lives. This is just a casual example of how we learn to ignore the severity of sexual assault; the "cause" of the oppressive "effect". If Buzzfeed validates "gangbang" as a comical term used to describe everyday events like making a hamburger, it has three main consequences:
1. A person who has been gang-raped will feel dehumanised and ignored, as their experiences of pain and assault are publicly joked about.
2. A person who has committed gang-rape will feel validated and comforted that they didn't do something much out of the ordinary; a "gangbang" is just a funny casual part of life amirite?
3. People who hear about a gang-rape (bystanders, friends, judges and juries, etc.) will not take the claim as seriously, because they've subconsciously come to associate gang-rape with jokes and trivial comments. They won't be willing/able to provide proper comfort or treatment to the victim, while adding to a social mentality that allows the perpetrator to avoid punishment.
Buzzfeed you screwed up big time.
Hannah
Friday, 24 July 2015
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